iPad Ad

On the back of the May 3, 2010, New Yorker, there is an ad for Apple’s iPad. Here is a description of the ad: top right corner – Apple logo and “iPad”; photo dominated by a straight-on picture of an iPad displaying a page from an “e-book,” obviously being held (and thus read) by a woman (manicured lady hands and feet in women’s shoes blurred in the background).

The e-book displayed on the iPad reads as follows (sections in brackets are not displayed—I just included them for fun (the reason there are partial sentences in brackets is that the woman reading it in the ad is starting to “turn” the page and the “page” is starting to fold over)):

The Last Song

[He paused, chastened. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He reached for his glass again. “What did the judge say about her shoplifting?”

“Just what I told you on the phone,” she said with a resigned expression. “If she doesn’t get into any more trouble, it’ll be expunged from her record. If she does it again, though…” She trailed off.

“You’re worried about this,” he started.

Kim turned away. “It’s not the first time, which is the problem,” she confessed. “She admitted to stealing the bracelet last year, but this time, she said she was buying a bunch of stuff at the drugstore and couldn’t hold it all, so she tucked the lipstick in her pocket. She paid for everything else, and when you see the video, it seems to be an honest mistake, but…”

“But you’re not sure.”

When Kim didn’t answer, Steve shook his head. “She’s not on her way to being profiled on America’s Most Wanted.] She made a mistake. And she’s always had a good heart.”

“That doesn’t mean she’s telling the truth now.”

“And it doesn’t mean she lied, either.”

“So you believe her?” Her expression was a mixture of hope and skepticism.

He sifted through his feelings about the incident, as he had a dozen times since Kim had first told him. “Yeah,” he said. “I believe her.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s a good kid.”

“How do you know?” she demanded. For the first time, she sounded angry. “The last time you spent any time with her, she was finishing middle school.” She turned away from him then, crossing her arms as she gazed out the window. Her voice was bitter when she went on. “You [could have] come back, you know. You could have taught in New York again. You didn’t have to travel around [the country, you] didn’t have to move here… you could [have stayed part of] their lives.”

Her words stung him, and [he knew she was right. But it] hadn’t been that simple, for reasons they both understood, though neither would [acknowledge them.]

The charged silence passed [when Steve eventually cleared] his throat. “I was just trying to [say that Ronnie knows right from wrong. As much as she asserts her independence, I still believe she’s the same person she always was. In the ways that really matter, she hasn’t changed.”

Before Kim could figure out how or if she should respond to his comment, Jonah burst through the front door, his cheeks flushed.

“Dad! I found a really cool workshop! C’mon! I want to show you!”

Kim raised an eyebrow.]

So, some comments:

(1) When I read the text of the book in the ad I thought: I bet that’s Nicholas Sparks. My guess was based on the subject matter and how bad it is, but there’s a chance that I subconsciously remembered that the recent movie The Last Song, staring Miley Cyrus, was based on a Sparks book.

(2) As for how bad it is, I’m temped to rewrite the whole thing to demonstrate how it is awful, but I don’t feel like taking the time. Examples of things that have to go: “she said with a resigned expression”; “‘If she does it again, though…’ She trailed off”; “she confessed”; “Her expression was a mixture of hope and skepticism”; “She turned away from him then, crossing her arms as she gazed out the window. Her voice was bitter when she went on”; and “Kim raised and eyebrow.”

(3) This dude sells many, many books, despite how bad the writing is. He clearly knows how to tell a love story that a large segment of American women find enthralling. So one could say who am I to say Sparks is awful. But I’m saying it anyway and I’m right. Call me a snob if you must.

(4) This is the original reason I wanted to write about this ad: Of all the books Apple could’ve put on the screen, they pick that? Really? They couldn’t aim a little higher, offer a challenge? But then I remember, Sparks sells a lot of books. Maybe they are trying to attract those currently thinking about beach reading, which for some reason many people consider as the time to lighten it up. Maybe they have a deal with the publisher.

(5) Maybe this isn’t the best ad for the back of the New Yorker?

(6) There are some who think the iPad ads are sexist. The claim is that the ads featuring women show the women either reading Nicholas Sparks or organizing their photos, while the ads with men show the men reading the New York Times. I haven’t paid enough attention, or seen enough of them, to figure out if there is anything to this.

(7) I saw a Kindle ad on TV where a woman was reading Where the God of Love Hangs Out by Amy Bloom. The man she is with is reading something on his Kindle but I can’t make out what it is. I know nothing about this Bloom book.